A bit of set up and definition. In the context of school, a gunner is someone who insists their education come first. They may or may not have the best grades in class but they damn well take up as much of class time as possible and usually to the detriment of others’ education. Most often they defend it as participating or “just trying to learn,” but that’s usually a facile and transparent affect.
Well, this morning one pissed off not just my classmates and I but also my internal alter ego, Filk Girl, who woke up to a REALLY shitty folk of a popular tune from Disney’s recently released movie Frozen. She’s a real bitch, too.
The following is to the tune of “Out There,” from Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame. Considering the association of this character with rather creepy (even if a understandable) general lack of social skills, I felt it was even more apropos. A quick search should find plenty of YouTube vids with the tune in. So clearly this is explicitly a work of satire, and I wrote these words. Claim them as yours and I’ll write one about you. By name.
Up here in these hallowed halls with early AM’s moan
Heedless of the fact that they can blow me
Yet another gunner who thinks grade’s game is zero sum
Ignoring others’ learning all around me
Ev’rytime we meet it’s on our faces
Grubbing points to make their A+ higher
Never heeding that they’re trampling
Roughshod over us.
Ever worse it’s
Sit down! I have questions, too,
God’s sake it’s not about you!
You share this classroom, too,
With other students.
I know you’d like to learn
But what I’d give
What I’d pay
Just to get one question in!
I dream of future classes where participation’s not a lie
Learning as a group
From lecture’s gleanings
Information flowing freely
Interaction not one-way
No single student time monopolizing
On that day I will grin
I’ll treasure ev’ry instant!
Trying t’encourage others there
Morning classes and PM
Repping other women
Who gladly all crowd in there
For we’re taught early men
Get to make content
But take your share
All on board
If you’ll sit